Last night was a little better than the previous ones have been. She didn't wake up until 5:02 this morning, so I got almost a full night's sleep, which I definitely needed to try and catch up. She did her crying and calling me, I went in, reassured her, sat with her a couple of minutes, and put her back to bed. She was quiet for about 10 minutes and then did it again, but this time it was a fussy calling for me, not crying in fear or pain or whatever it is. So I didn't go in that time. The first time I could tell it was genuine. This time she just wanted my attention. She went on for about 20 minutes and then was quiet. Before long she was at it again. At 6:00 I finally went in and got her up for the day. It was getting light out and I couldn't fool her anymore saying it was "nigh night time" because she could see it was light outside.
I did some reading this morning both online and in a sleep book I have and almost everything says that if you want it to stop you have to let them cry, as long as you know they're okay, which I know she is. I did that when she was a baby and it was torture, but it worked eventually. It feels even more tortuous now, since she's calling me by name, and every instinct in me says to go to her, but I know it's not going to help her learn to put herself back to sleep. Something I read said that if you knew a babysitter was giving your child candy every day you'd tell them to stop, and the child would cry and protest for awhile, but eventually they'd give up when they realized they weren't going to get it anymore. It said that my continuously going in to comfort at night when I know she's fine is more or less "social candy," and she's going to cry harder and protest for awhile, but eventually she'll give up when she sees that I'm not coming. But oh, I'm not looking forward to it until that realization happens. I dread going to bed now, because I never know how much sleep I'll get. And now I have the added dread of knowing I need to lay there and listen to my poor child cry.
As to why this is happening, I read that nightmares are common, as their imaginations are growing, or it could be separation anxiety, or developmental leaps (potty training, vocabulary explosions....both of which she's going through at the moment). It also said an earlier bedtime could help. We start bedtime at 7:30 and she's in bed by 8:00. I wonder if going back to a 7:30 bedtime would make it any better.
Time will tell, I guess.
1 comment:
I know it's really hard, but I think you're doing the right thing. Even though you go through the hardest part of sleep training when they're babies, there are short "re-training" phases that happen off and on and you can't figure out why. It's miserable, but there's really no other choice except no one getting the sleep they need. Hang in there!
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