fifth birthday fun

Yesterday was Rebecca's favorite day ever, if you ask her.  I don't think there was ever anyone who enjoyed a birthday more (except maybe her sister!).  She loved every minute.  We went to the zoo in the morning, and in the afternoon she got to go make her very first Build a Bear, courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa (it was hard to tell who was more excited about that, though--Rebecca or Rachel, who was thrilled for her sister!).  Rebecca only had eyes for the Elsa bear.  She said she liked them all, but none more than Elsa, so Elsa it was (even though she was $10 more than the other bears....the bargain hunter in me shuttered at the extra $10, but Grandma said she could have the one she wanted!)

After Build a Bear she came home and played with her until Daddy got home and it was time for dinner.  She had chosen Red Robin for dinner because she wanted the waiters to sing to her (she was all about being noticed yesterday and wore her preschool birthday crown all day long--at the zoo, Build a Bear, the restaurant, everywhere!).  

Then it was home for presents, cake, and ice cream.  She wanted a blue Elsa cake and a purple five candle.  This is what I came up with.

She was sad when the day was over and wanted it to last for days, she told me.  She loved it all.

Love her!!

five!

Rebecca Joy, you are something else!  You make us laugh every day with the grown up things you say.  You make me pull my hair out with the way you try to test the limits, questioning the rules like your sister never did.  You fill my life with hugs and more hugs, lots of cuddling, and lots of laughter.

I can't believe you're five.  How do five years go by in such a flash?  Sometimes I look at you and can't believe how grown up you are--five going on fifteen.  Other times I look at you and think about what a baby you are.  But like I tell you, you'll always by MY baby!

You've been talking about your birthday since May 28th of last year!  You knew you wanted an Elsa cake and have been telling me about it all year.  So on our last day together of just you and me (Rachel's last day of school) we went out to pick out your birthday supplies.  You were so excited about all of the Elsa things we saw and just wanted it all.  

I'll miss those mornings together of just you and me.  In the fall, when Rachel goes back to school, you will be, too!  What will I do with myself when you BOTH get on a school bus and I walk back home by myself?  I've been both dreading and looking forward to that day....the day I finally get some time to myself!  It's hard to imagine, since the last nine years I've been surrounded by little girls, books, puzzles, princesses, ballerinas, and tea parties!  Part of me can't wait.  Another (bigger) part of me is so sad that those days will be coming to an end.  Hopefully you'll still enjoy those things for a few more years, like your sister has.  Please don't grow up too fast, sweet girl!

Pictures from our day at the zoo today:

I love you, Rebecca, and I'm so thankful for the JOY you add to our lives.

Happy birthday!!

Love,

Mommy

in case

I'm posting this in case there's someone who reads this blog who I didn't already send this to, and who is interested in following my story....

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/wendymcfarland

end of an era

There are no more preschoolers in my house.  :(

At the end of this week I will be the proud mother of a kindergartner and a Fourth Grader!  How in the world did that happen?

And Rebecca turns five next week.  Impossible!

And it's the end of an era for my minivan, too, which caused me a lot of stress, because of its unreliability.  There was always something wrong with it.  Last week we decided we'd thrown enough money into it and had to get something else.  So here's my new one, which I love!

I can't believe summer vacation is going to be here in three days.  It's not a summer I'm looking forward to, for obvious reasons, but we'll make it through, and hopefully find some joy along the way.

happy mother's day to me.....

It wasn't the mother's day I expected.  

We went to my parents' house yesterday to spend Mother's Day with my mom.  Last night we watched a movie and went to bed, but at 12:30 I still hadn't fallen asleep (more on my insomnia later....).  I heard the door open and Rebecca came in crying because an ant was on her arm.  This has happened before--she has nightmares about ants crawling on her and thinks they're real.  But as I was telling her it was just a dream, I smelled something.  She had thrown up.  I took her in the bathroom and oh, my goodness, had she ever thrown up.  It was the nastiest clean up job I've ever had to do.  And to top it off, she and Rachel had shared a bed for the first time at Grandma's house, so we had to wake Rachel up, too to change the sheets.

Two baths later, she was cleaned up (though I still couldn't get the smell out of her hair) and laying on the floor in our room, in case it happened again.  I was in adrenaline mode and couldn't go to sleep, wondering if and when it would happen again.  Finalły, somewhere around 3:30, I fell asleep.  And at 5:00 she threw up again.  Lots tamer the second time, but still....  So I got a whole 1 1/2 hours of sleep.  Way to start off Mother's Day!

It improved a little after that.  She has been feeling okay most of the day, so that's good.  My mom and I went for a walk, we all had a nice lunch and then we drove back home this afternoon.  

We ordered pizzas for dinner so I had a whole day off of cooking, so that's always a good day.  

So the day was redeemed a little.  But I'm still tired.  Insomnia seems to come and go with me.  But right now I just have way too many thoughts running through my head at night.  Just over a week ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  (I didn't know whether I should write about this on my blog, but since most people who I know read this blog already know, I guess it doesn't matter too much.  If I haven't told you personally, I'm sorry for the shocker on the blog).  So my mind is racing every night with what ifs and questions.  This week I meet with the surgical oncologist and will hopefully know more then about the next step in this process.  Maybe after I know what's going to happen with all of this, I'll be able to sleep a little better.