insomnia

Me.....not Rachel.

I've been awake since 1:50 this morning. At 4:30 this morning I cleaned the bathroom and mopped the kitchen floor. At 6:30 I was vacuuming. Yes, I know, I'm crazy.

Of course, I did go to bed at 9:00 because I couldn't keep my eyes open (and because we had no power all evening), but still, that's not even 5 hours of sleep.

I am hosting a playdate at my house this morning for the mom's club I'm in, and since the power went out at 5:30 last night, and I wasn't done cleaning, I had a ton to do. The power didn't come back on until sometime between 9 PM and 1:50 AM when I woke up. Part of why I couldn't go back to sleep was because I was stressing about everything I had to do this morning to get ready for the playdate. So I finally decided to get up and do something about it instead of stressing about it.

I'm glad it's done, but man, I'm exhausted.

In napping news, things have improved a bit. We've been putting her to bed closer to 2:00 for the last few days. She's gone right to sleep each time, and I've been getting her up at 4:30, and she has been cheerful, not grumpy, like I had feared would happen, waking her up before she was ready. 4:30 is still a little later than I would like her to get up, but she's still going to bed fine at 8:00 pm, so I guess if it's not affecting that, it's not a huge problem. We'll see if things continue this way.

Hopefully I'll also be getting a good nap today!

the naptime blues

Rachel didn't start out as a good napper. In fact, she was a terrible napper for a good nine months after she was born. But somewhere along the way she became a really good napper, and in the last several months, she's become a champion napper--sleeping from a little after 1:00 pm often until 4:00 pm, when I finally go wake her up!

But the last three days, this has not been the case. And I'm singing the naptime blues, because, I'm fearful that my wonderful three hours of peace are nearing an end. I knew it would happen. I just didn't want it to until she went to school all day and needed to give up a nap.

For the last three days I take her upstairs at 1:00, like normal. We read a story and she gets in bed, just like always. She talks and sings a bit after I leave....also normal. But for three days now she keeps talking....and talking....and singing....and playing....and talking....and at 2:30 she is still awake! I've gone up and told her to be quiet, stop talking, and go to sleep. "But I'm not tired," she tells me. Within five minutes of my leaving, she's fallen asleep. Yesterday I let her sleep until 5:00, which I never do, because she had taken so long to fall asleep. Today it was closer to 3:00 when she finally fell asleep and now it's 3:30 and she's awake again, crying. Do I go help her get back to sleep and let her sleep until 5:00 again? I don't like it--I think 5:00 is too late to get up from a nap, because her bedtime is 8:00, and I don't want to push her bedtime back. But I don't know what to do.

So my question for all of you seasoned moms is this....would you keep trying to put her down at 1:00 and hope this is a phase that she'll get over, or should I keep her up until 2:00 or so, and let her sleep until 5:00? Or should I still get her up at 4:00, even if she doesn't fall asleep until 2:30 or 3? Cranky and all??? Or do I resign myself to the fact that the days of champion napping are over, and we might have to start transitioning to "rest time" instead?

Help!

pony ride

Yesterday afternoon was our church's fall picnic. We've gone a couple of times, and each year it's been held somewhere different, as the church continues to grow and we keep outgrowing the venues. This year it was held at a farm. I was not feeling well most of the weekend with an end-of-the-summer cold, and it was raining most of the afternoon. I decided not to go to the picnic because I didn't want to be out in the rain with my cold, and I still wasn't feeling great. But they were supposed to have quite a few things for kids to do, so my husband wanted to take Rachel, knowing she would probably have a great time.

And she did!

But he didn't have the camera!

When they got home she quite literally burst through the front door and sprinted through the house looking for me yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!" I came downstairs as soon as I heard her come in and said, "What! Did you have fun?"

Daddy said, "Tell Mommy what you did!"

"I rode a PONY!" she declared. My husband said she had the hugest smile on her face, when, after waiting in line for over a half an hour for a turn, she finally got to sit on that pony. He said over and over last night, "I wish I would've had my camera." And I wish I could've seen it. She was thrilled.

She also told me that she ate cotton candy, fed a pig and some other animals, made a pumpkin, but not a jack-o-lantern (because jack-o-lanterns you have to cut and this pumpkin you just put face stickers on, according to Rachel), went on two hayrides (one with the blue tractor and one with the orange tractor), and played by the pond. It sounds like she had the time of her life. And my husband said the rain stopped as soon as they got there and started again just as they left.

I'm hoping for the same this morning, since it's Rachel's first field trip for school today, to the apple orchard, and it's raining this morning. I'm wondering if we'll get to go or not.

camping

Remember how much I love camping? Well, my husband has been asking ever since that night to go camping. I kept saying I was willing to give it a try, but I kept having trouble actually committing to it. Well, we finally went last weekend.

For the most part, it was better than I had expected. Rachel loved it and my husband had a good time, so I'm glad we went. My attitude was good (I was worried that I'd be grumpy and spoil it for everyone), and most of it went better than I had hoped. Rachel loved the campfire, loved cooking hotdogs, making s'mores, and just sitting watching the fire, and LOVED being in the tent. While she was eating her hotdog (which was peeled because there was too much black stuff on it!), she was grinning from ear to ear and declaring over and over, "This is a great camping trip!"

My biggest concern was for sleep--I haven't been sleeping well lately at all. I slept, but not great--Rachel didn't go to sleep until after 10 (we went in the tent and got ready for bed around 8:30--she was BEGGING us to go to bed! But then she was so excited about her sleeping bag and glow stick Daddy had bought her that it took her FOREVER to settle down. He and I went out and sat at the campfire for awhile thinking she'd settle down better if we weren't in there, but she continued to sing and talk in bed. Finally we went in around 10 and she went to sleep soon after.) I checked my watch at 11:30 and I was still awake, but fell asleep sometime soon after that. But Rachel woke up several times in the night, so it was very interrupted sleep. At 3:30 she got out of bed (she NEVER gets out of bed) and was cold and wanted to get in with us. I told her no--we've never done that and didn't want to start--but I moved her bed over right next to ours, got her in her sleeping bag (she didn't stay in it very well, which is why she was cold) and put an extra blanket on her and that seemed to do it. She slept for the rest of the night after that. I had taken two tylenol PMs, so I was able to go back to sleep easily each time, so that was good.

At 6:30 she woke up, so I left to get my shower and Daddy entertained her with her glow stick some more, which amazingly was still glowing! When I was coming back from my shower, he and she were on their way up to find me, so we switched and he went to take his shower and I took her back and got her dressed. By that time it was light. When Daddy got back we started making breakfast. Rachel had several meltdowns that morning--it was cold and she hadn't gotten enough sleep. After we got everything put away and the tent down and packed up around 10, we left and went for a short hike at a nearby cave. We hiked a little, had an early lunch, and drove back home. Got back just in time for naptime. We all took much needed naps.

All in all it was a successful trip. The weather was perfect (though a bit cold...I'd rather be cold in a tent than hot, though!) and it was so fun watching my two favorite people enjoy themselves so much.

Here are a few pictures from our adventure.

the name game

The other night as my husband gave Rachel a bath he gave her the foam letters in her name in the tub and asked her if she could use them to spell her name. She did! So last night I put all 26 letters in the tub and asked her to find the letters for her name and make it. Again, she did, without any trouble at all. Who knew! What really surprised me was that she asked, "Where's the little A, Mommy?" She knows the R is big and the rest of the letters are little, but the foam letters we have are only capital letters. She was looking for a lower case A to come after her R. I couldn't believe it.

She's also started writing her name by tracing dotted line letters. We noticed that the top of her school papers had this on each one, but we figured someone was holding her hand to help her trace the lines. Last night we watched her do it--all by herself!

I guess we've been underestimating our girl!

pixie dust

Driving home from the library this evening I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Rachel looking up with her hands in the air, waving them around, and a huge smile on her face. I asked her what she was doing.

"Putting pixie dust all over the car to make it pretty," she said, matter of factly. "See, doesn't it look so sparkly and pretty now?"

I continued to watch her, and she looked around at her imaginary handiwork, smiling.

I couldn't help but smile the rest of the way home, loving her imagination, her innocence, and her exhuberance.

Can I bottle up some of this "three-ness" and save it for when she's, oh, fourteen?

the nightgown

Several weeks ago I was at a children's resale shop in town and found a brand new with the tags on princess nightgown. It was two sizes too big for Rachel, but looked like it might fit, and besides, who cares if a nightgown is a little bit too big. She had never had a nightgown, and I knew she would love it, because it would look and feel like a dress, and she absolutely loves wearing dresses. I showed it to her and told her it was for sleeping in, like pajamas. She loved it.

She wanted to put it on as soon as we got home, but I told her I needed to wash it first, so that afternoon I washed it, and at bathtime that night, she took the quickest bath I've ever seen her take (usually she wants to play forever and I have to practically pry her out of the tub, wrinkly toes and all), so she could put on her new nightgown.

As soon as I put it on her she was laughing and laughing, just sooooooo excited about it. She couldn't wait to go downstairs to show Daddy. I grabbed the camera on the way down and took a picture.

That smile couldn't be wiped off her face. I don't know how she finally calmed down enough to sleep that night, but she eventually did.

The next morning she was all giggles again, as she danced around and around in her nightgown. That afternoon she begged to wear it for her nap. I told her no, that she could wear it again that night for bed. She took another record bath so she could jump into her nightgown.

The next night I told her I needed to wash it again so she had to wear pajamas to bed. She cried.

I've washed that nightgown about five times in the few weeks that we've had it--she looooooooves it and gets so excited every time she finds out it's clean again. Makes me want to sell all of the pajamas I have for her and go buy her all new nightgowns!

toes

Rachel's red toes have been "scrubbing off," as she puts it, so she's been wanting me to re-paint her toes. Finally today I let her get the basket of polish out. She carefully looked over her choices and chose a very pale pink.

She didn't realize that changing the color involved several other steps:

1) removing the old polish

and

2) cutting her toenails again

She hates having her nails cut, and today was no different. And she hated the polish remover--too cold and tickly, she said. She squirmed and squirmed. I finally told her she could finish herself, which helped, but she couldn't get it all off herself.

Finally we painted her toes pink. Then Mommy had to paint hers to match. Except Mommy only has 9 toenails, as of this morning. I was cleaning my room and ran my foot full force into my mirror stand. I first thought I broke my little toe, because of how badly it hurt, but upon inspection found lots of blood and discovered that the toenail ripped almost completely off. I'm now hobbling along, trying to clean the house. Ouch.

i don't know

Hooray! According to Rachel's teacher, today was another great day at school. So glad to hear....

It's like pulling teeth to get Rachel to tell me about her morning at school, though, and there's no time to stand and chat with the teacher to ask her. So here's a typical conversation we've had each of her three days at school:

M: What did you do at school today?

R: I don't know.

M: Did you play with some other boys and girls?

R: Yep. (one of her new favorite words...."nope" is the other favorite.)

M: Who did you play with?

R: I don't know.

M: Did you color?

R: Yep.

M: What did you color today?

R: I don't know.

M: Did you cut with scissors?

R: Nope.

M: Did you sing any songs?

R: Yep.

M: What songs did you sing?

R: I don't know. (Today I actually got an answer....she started singing the song for me!)

M: Did the teacher read a story?

R: Yep.

M: What was the story about?

R: I don't know. (Both Tuesday and today she eventually told me it was about porcupines. I don't know if that means she read the same story today as she did Tuesday, or if it was a different story but still about porcupines, or if it just meant Rachel remembered Tuesday's story today!)

M: What did you play outside?

R: In the house. (There's one of those Step 2 plastic houses out on the playground.)


Today I asked a new question....

M: What game did you play today? (Hoping she had actually played a game...)

R: Dominos!

M: What do you do with dominos?

R: Match them.

M: What is on the dominos that you have to match?

R: Dots.

Ahhhh, finally, I found out something! I also found out (after several more exchanges like the one above) that they talked about the letter F some more, they talked about their families, and she drew a picture of her family.

M: Who is in your family?

R: I don't know.

Hmmmm....I wonder how she drew a picture of us without knowing who we are?

It's so strange that there's this huge gap of time in my daughter's life twice a week that I am not a part of and I don't know what's going on in that time! I wish we'd get some sort of newsletter or something telling me what they're doing, because it's pretty impossible to get information out of this three year old. Some three year olds may go on and on about their days at school, but not mine. Open House is next week. Maybe I'll find out some answers then.

relief

Remember that old commercial where the narrator asked, "How do you spell relief?" and the person on camera held up a pack of antacids and said, "R-O-L-A-I-D-S!"

Well, I haven't taken any Rolaids, but I have had some major relief today. Rachel had a great day at school. If you recall, I briefly mentioned last time that I had already had to have a talk with the teacher on day one. Now that a few days have passed I can write a little more about that awful day, but at the time I was too traumatized to publicize it for the world to see.

I went to pick Rachel up on her first day, excited to hear about her day, and the teacher asked me to step aside and have the other parents pick up their children first because she needed to talk to me. Uh oh. I stood there in disbelief, dreading whatever it was she had to tell me.

Finally it was my turn and Rachel ran to the door--the first thing I noticed is that she had on the extra shorts I had packed in her backpack--so I knew she had had an accident. Ugh. The teacher then proceeded to tell me that Rachel told her "NO" several times, disobeyed, threw herself down on the floor, and also refused to go potty when they went. She then had an accident on the playground. She said she was very strict and Rachel tested every limit and finally after awhile got the picture that the teacher wasn't kidding, and did okay after that, but that she was very strong willed.

I was HORRIFIED. My jaw was on the floor. I've never ever gotten a report from anyone that she'd behaved this way. The only other similar setting she's been in like this is sunday school, and they've never told me anything but good things. She does great with babysitters and any other authority figures. Everyone's always told me how well behaved and sweet she is. Had they all been lying to me?? I know my child is far from perfect, but this just sounded like a completely different little girl!

I didn't know WHAT to do. I apologized profusely to the teacher (this wasn't even her real teacher--her real teacher just got hired the week before school started and had to finish out her old job last week, so it was a substitute). Then I started crying....felt like an idiot. I couldn't believe it. I was just completely blindsided.

When I got Rachel out to the car I gave her a stern "talking to" before we left and on the drive home I debated and debated about what to do when we got home. She was disciplined and quickly recovered and moved on with her day. I, however, took a LOT longer to recover (as in, this morning I was still a nervous wreck!!!) You'd think as a former teacher I'd have a better handle on this, but when it's your own child it's a completely different ball game.

All weekend we drilled it into Rachel that she needed to go sit on the potty and try to go when her teacher told her to, whether she thought she needed to go or not. We told her that she had to stop what she was doing and do what the teacher said, no matter what she wanted to do instead. We reminded her that she is not allowed to tell the teacher "no," or even, "no, thank you," which is her polite way of telling us no. She just needed to do it, whatever it was. We told her over and over and over, ad nauseum since last Thursday.

So today her regular teacher, Miss Jessie, was back. When I went to pick Rachel up, I was on pins and needles for the report, but Miss Jessie said, "She had a GREAT day!" Oh my......such relief has never flooded my soul like it did at that moment.

Evidently she had gone potty just after I left, so a bit later when the class had to go potty, Miss Jessie told Rachel that she didn't need to go, since she had just gone. Rachel said, "My mommy's going to be very angry!" So Miss Jessie told her okay, that she could go ahead and try. Hilarious! What a good girl!

Rachel remembered a bit more about her day this time....they had cinnamon crackers and milk for a snack, they read a story about porcupines, they went out to the duck pond and saw a baby duck with its Mommy and brothers and sisters, she played in the house out on the playground (but she couldn't remember the boys and girls names who she played with), she colored a picture of an apple, and they talked about the letter "F," which is for feather. In fact, Miss Jessie told me that Rachel was the only one to guess what the letter was that they were talking about today.

Today felt much more like I had expected to feel on the first day when I picked her up. But today it was even sweeter, because it was such a HUGE relief. I don't know what got in to her last week....my sister in law told me that clearly she had been abducted by aliens and put a changeling in her place.... But my daughter seemed to be back today, thankfully.

Ahhhh.....I can sleep again!