survival

I haven't really written much about the transition from one child to two.  Right now I feel like I'm in survival mode.  I'm so tired and no matter how hard I try (and I AM really trying!), I can't seem to find any sort of schedule for little miss Rebecca.  Every day is SO different.  One day she's good as gold in the morning and fussy all afternoon/evening, when all she wants to do is eat and catnap for a few minutes here and there.  The next day she'll be super fussy in the morning and want to eat all the time and sleep all afternoon and evening.  And she has only slept through the night two other times besides those first two times (once was last night!  Hooray!!!).  She's usually up sometime between 2:00 and 3:00 AM and again between 5:00 and 6:00.  Thankfully she goes right back to sleep most of those times, so we're not up too long with her, but there are some nights when she's wide awake and would like to play at 2:30 AM.  I'm thankful that doesn't happen too often, though.  But I'd really like some predictability and a schedule! 

We have made a little bit of progress, in that I can now put her down to sleep awake and she'll fall asleep on her own with only minimal fussing.  Originally, she only wanted to sleep in our arms (the nurse told us this after night one in the nursery at the hospital--she only wanted to be held, and she's right!  She's definitely a cuddler!).  She'd only fall asleep in our arms, we'd try to put her down, and she'd wake up and cry again until we could get her asleep again in our arms. We'd try to put her down again and often it would start all over. It was an exhausting process, unless we just let her stay in our arms or on our belly.  She still would LOVE that, but that doesn't allow me to get a thing done, so in the last week I've been putting her down drowsy but awake, and letting her cry (which is agony to listen to!), and now she only fusses a few minutes and then she's out.  It helps a lot.

The hardest part of having two is finding time to spend with Rachel.  Rebecca usually needs me immediately when she starts crying, so I have to stop whatever I'm doing with Rachel and tend to Rebecca.  Rachel is doing great with not getting upset about it, but I need some planned time with Rachel.  She CRAVES attention, especially now, and I want to give it to her, but I'm struggling to figure out when.  It doesn't help that I'm just so tired.  I feel like I'm just surviving through each day....not really thriving at all.

But despite the struggle, it is definitely a lot easier this time around.  Mostly because I know that the survival mode will end!  When Rachel was a baby people would tell me it would get easier, but I didn't know anything else--I only knew the sleep deprivation and frustration of a constantly fussy baby.  Now I know that they're right--it will get better.  I don't want to wish these precious months of infancy away, like I tended to do with Rachel, because Rebecca is so sweet and cuddly right now, and I want to savor her like this, since she'll grow so fast.  So I'm enjoying it, despite the frustration and sleep deprivation....but part of me can't wait to get through it, too! 

She's a month old today.  A month!  She can hold her head up longer, track things with her eyes, and best of all, we've seen glimpses of smiles here and there the last couple of days.  The other day I even heard her first little coo, as she was sitting in her bouncy chair, "talking" to the animals hanging down.  So sweet!  I can't wait for more to come--they're almost here!

Here's Rebecca at one month.

And this was Rachel at one month.

What do you think....do they look alike?

goggles, daddy, and sisters

Rachel's new beach ball (and goggles)

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

Sisters

three weeks

In some ways it seems like forever ago that Rebecca joined our family.  In other ways, three weeks ago feels like yesterday.  At any rate, she's three weeks old today. 

Three weeks of cuddling and kissing the top of her head.

Three weeks of changing lots of tiny (but VERY messy!) diapers.

Three weeks of sleepy grins (I can't wait until she smiles for real!) and funny faces.

Three weeks of frustrating hours of inconsolable crying and sleepless nights.

Until two nights ago, that is, because....

SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!! 

and even better....

she slept through the night TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!!!!!!

I'm still catching up on lots of missed sleep, so I'm still tired, but boy, did it feel good to sleep almost all night!  (I got her to bed at 11:00 each of those nights and she was up at 5:30--and I woke up to check on her, too). 

How did I get so blessed??  (Maybe because I paid my dues with Rachel, who was a terrible sleeper for the first six months or so???) 

Who knows if it will continue, but I'm sure enjoying it while it lasts!

sleepless...

I should be sleeping right now, but I've neglected this blog for too long and need to do an update, so here's a brief one. 

Rebecca's first bath

Rebecca is doing well, though she has her days and nights mixed up.

First Outing--A walk at the park

She sleeps all day and is up for looooooong stretches at night. 

We're working on it.  Today has been a little bit better.

She eats up a storm (3 ounces per feeding, every 2-4 hours, and sometimes even sooner).  The doctor says to feed her on demand for another two weeks and then we can start letting her cry a little when she's looking for food and it's not time yet.  She's already beefed up to a chunky 8 pounds, 6 ounces (she weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces at birth, then lost 6 ounces in the hospital).  The doctor said it's great.  It's just so different from Rachel, who has always had an eating problem (And still does!  She eats like a bird!  Maybe Rebecca will teach her big sister a thing or two about eating!).

Rachel's been great so far with Rebecca. 

This week, though, she's been having a great time at Grandma and Grandpa's house. 

Painting,

Dressing up (this is my old dance recital costume!)

and here she is before she left here, collecting bugs, which is one of her new favorite past times.

It's been SO quiet around here without her here.  We miss her a lot, but also feel like we're on vacation with all of the peace and quiet (even with a newborn in the house it feels so peaceful!).  I knew Rachel talked a lot, but it wasn't until she left for a week that I realized just how MUCH she talks!  Whew! 

She comes back tomorrow, and then the work really begins, as I figure out how to be the mother of two.  So far I've only done it by myself for one day, so I haven't really faced reality yet.  I know I'll figure it out eventually, but it's going to take awhile to find a balance and a schedule for us all.