empty nest

I walked home from the bus stop today alone to an empty house.  My baby girl is off to kindergarten!!

I feel like I should be more sad that she's starting kindergarten.  I was so emotional when Rachel started.  I think I cried the whole morning that first morning.  I don't feel that way this year.  I'm a tiny bit sad, and I will miss her, and I cried when she got on that big bus this morning, but she's much more social than her sister ever was, so I feel less worried and anxious about her going.  She's ready.  I think she'll do great (if she can keep her mouth shut and sit still!).  

I posted this poem when Rachel went off to kindergarten.  It made me cry then, and it makes me cry now.....it's all so bittersweet.  I'm excited for her, I know she'll love it, but I also hate saying goodbye to a part of her childhood.  I changed a few words to fit her eye/hair color....

Dear World:
I bequeath to you today one little girl . . . in a crispy dress . . . with two blue eyes . . . and a happy laugh that ripples all day long . . . and a flash of blonde hair that bounces in the sun when she runs.
I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning . . . and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine.
Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Goodbye" and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she'll learn to stand in lines . . . and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school-bells . . . and deadlines . . . and she'll learn to giggle . . . and gossip . . . and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy 'cross the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she'll learn to be jealous. And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn and kiss lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she'll worry about those important things . . . like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friends is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls. And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers . . . which is only right. But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time . . . she'll learn what it means to be a member of the group . . . with all its privileges and its disadvantages too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud . . . or kiss dogs . . . or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms . . . or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer.
Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.
So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl . . . in a crispy dress . . . with two blue eyes . . . and a flash of blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I trust you'll treat her well.

And here are a few more pictures.....

Here's how I spent the morning while she was gone.....I did this on Rachel's first day of kindergarten, and she remembers it and asked if I was going to do it for Rebecca.....

(Those are little school houses...kind of hard to tell!)

And here are some pictures for comparison....

Rachel's first day of kindergarten, 2011

My first day of kindergarten, 1979

fourth grade!

Off she goes!

I can't believe I have a fourth grader.  

I remember fourth grade being the first year girls were interested in boys (yikes!) and the year things started changing, socially, for me, as some girls matured and others (me included) didn't.  I'm scared for my sweet, innocent, immature girl who has absolutely no interest in boys, still likes princesses, and adores playing dress up.  She's unique and an absolute treasure....but not everyone looks past the exterior to see that gem inside that I see.  She's timid and quiet at school.  Too much like her mother, this dear girl.

Her best friend, Taylor just coined the phrase, "nervou-cited" and that's what Rachel told me she was feeling last night.  Today she was all excitement.  The bus was thirty minutes late, though, on the first day, which knocked some wind out of both of us.....but I know she'll have a great day.

Love this girl!!!

Pelotonia

This post is for those of you who aren't on Facebook to already have seen these photos.

The Pelotonia bike ride was this past Saturday.  In order to ride 100 miles, my brother, Ted, raised well over $1,800 for cancer research at The James, where I receive my treatment, and rode in honor of his wife, Leslie, and me. 

The ride started downtown and ended 100 miles later at my alma mater, Kenyon.  

Brian, the girls, and I stopped along the way to cheer on the riders.  We missed Ted, so later we dropped the girls off with their cousins and Brian and I took off again to find him and cheer on more riders.  We found him!

We then met up with him again at the finish line.

It was a special day for all of us.