family of four

I'll try and summarize the last several days for you....

*Last Wednesday, the day before Rebecca was born, was Rachel's preschool graduation (she's got another year of preschool, but everyone graduates, for some reason).  They sang three songs and everyone got a character award.  Some kids got "Kindness" or "Obedience" or "Hard Working."  Rachel got "Decisiveness: Able to Make Up My Mind."  Yep, that's my girl....it's a nice way to say she's stubborn and knows what she wants, I think.  But we are proud of her and love her just the same!  She's made great progress at school this year.

*Thursday morning we headed to the hospital at 5:30 AM for my induction.  By 6:30 I was hooked up to everything and the contractions started.  I wasn't allowed to get an epidural until I had a bag and a half of fluid in me, which took between an hour and two hours, I think.  They started getting painful before long, but finally the fluid was done and I was allowed the epidural.  It was heaven.  I didn't feel a thing after that.

*It took a few hours to go from 4-5 cm.  Once I was at 5, I suddenly started contracting every 1-2 minutes, instead of every 4-5 minutes, like I had been.  About 15 minutes or so after she checked me at 5 cm, she decided to check me again, and lo and behold, I was already at 10 cm!  In just minutes!  The nurse couldn't believe it (neither could we!) and ran out of the room to call the doctor and get everyone to come in and get everything set up for baby's arrival.  This baby was coming FAST! 

*My doctor came and pushing began.  I only pushed through about 4 or 5 contractions, and there she was, my perfectly healthy little girl!  She was crying before she was even all the way out.  She was beautiful and I was just in complete awe and disbelief, that she was finally here!!!!

*My dad had taken Rachel to school that morning.  When he picked her up, an hour after Rebecca was born, he was able to tell her that she was a big sister!  He took her home to change her into her "Big Sister" shirt, and brought her to the hospital.  She was so excited to see the baby and hold her.  She said, "Mommy, can we put her in a bag and take her home?" 

*Rachel had a million questions, about what I was wearing (the hospital gown), what was in my arm (an IV), what was on my wrist (hospital bracelets), and on and on and on.  She loved exploring the hospital, though she was much like a caged lion in that little room.

*She's fascinated with Rebecca.  She wanted to hold her over and over in the hospital, and whenever she did anything Rachel would report it to me.  "Look, Mommy, she's moving!"  "Mommy, she's getting ready to whine a little."  "Mommy, she's crying."  "Mommy, she's looking at me!  She likes me!"   And she tells me over and over again, "I'm so glad my baby sister is here!"  She checks on her all the time as she sleeps in her cradle (where she sleeps during the day downstairs with us) and reports her findings to me.

*On Saturday morning I was discharged from the hospital.  My husband and Rachel came to get Rebecca and me and we had our first family of four trip home.  Rachel saw me in my regular clothes, patted my tummy (which is considerably smaller, but is still there somewhat) and said, "Mommy, do you have another baby in there??"  Gee, thanks, Rachel.....  :)

*Life with a newborn and a four year old has had its challenges the last couple of days, but she's a pretty good baby so far.  When we first got home Rachel wanted lots of attention, understandably so.  That was hard for me, because my mind was on Rebecca and what she needed, but I knew that Rachel needed my attention too.  Since that day, though, Rachel has done pretty well with adapting to life with a baby.  She happily played by herself almost all morning this morning, without any prompting from me, which was great!  Rebecca has been sleeping most of the time, waking up every 2-4 hours to eat.  We've had to up her intake because she was constantly draining her bottles in minutes and looking for more.  Now that we've done that, she seems much more relaxed during her feedings and is sleeping longer intervals.  Hopefully the doctor will agree that this is okay when we go later this week.  She's got her days and nights mixed up a little bit, though she did better last night than she had the night before.  She spent a long period of time today awake, so hopefully she's learning that daytime is for playing and nighttime is for sleeping.  One can always hope!!! 

*We took our first family outing yesterday, to the park for a short walk.  It was nice to get out of the house, after being stuck at the hospital for two and a half days.  I went slowly, pushing Rebecca, but I'm actually not feeling too badly, for having just given birth four days ago.  I feel much, much better than I did after Rachel was born.  I guess because this was a much faster, easier birth.

*Overall, I'm loving having a newborn again--she's so sweet, cuddly, and tiny!  I'm loving NOT being pregnant anymore--I can't even tell you how glad I am that that is over.  And I'm trying to savor each of these precious moments of babyhood, because I know they'll go by waaaaaaaaaay too fast.  When my husband goes back to work and my mom leaves, I know I'll be much more tired and overwhelmed than I am right now, adjusting to having two girls; it's a huge help to me to have them here, but I still want to remember to enjoy these days of cuddling with Rebecca, watching Rachel enjoy her, and just smelling the top of that precious baby head!  (Why do babies smell so good, anyway!?!?)

heading home

So excited to be going home today with my favorite people....

And here are some other pictures from yesterday:

I'll try to write more soon.  We're all doing well and are loving getting to know Rebecca.

introducing...

Rebecca Joy!!!

May 27, 2010
10:37 AM
7 pounds, 10 oz
20 inches long

We couldn't be more thankful!!

summer!

The summer temps have returned, and are supposed to be around all week, so guess what made its debut today!

She was thrilled, to say the least.

It wasn't even full yet and she was in it, splashing around in the freezing cold water.  While she's napping I hope the water will warm up a bit so she can swim in it more later this afternoon.

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying my mother's day present, which my husband put together for me last week:

I love it and can't wait to swing with BOTH my girls in it very, very soon!  (Nope, she's still not here....taking her sweet ol' time.  She seems to have a mind of her own already--uh oh!)

birthdays

Tomorrow is my husband's birthday.  It's a milestone birthday, though I won't tell you which one....he probably wouldn't like it if I did.  I had been planning for years that for this special birthday I would have a big surprise party for him and invite all of his friends from up north where he used to live and totally blow him over with the surprise.  Then, 9 months ago, I found out that a baby would be arriving right around the same time as this big day.  I knew I wouldn't be able to pull off the big surprise that I had been hoping for. 

So there's no surprise.  I'm sad about that.  I really wanted to make it special, because he really doesn't like his birthday (especially this one), and I wanted to do my best to make it a happy day for him.  He's told me over and over that he hopes the baby decides to arrive on his birthday, because then everyone would forget about his for the rest of his life and focus on the little one's birthday instead!  While I don't particularly want them to share a birthday, at this point it would be absolutely fine with me if this baby decided to come tomorrow (or today, for that matter!!).  Maybe I should eat some spicy food tonight....I read that it sometimes puts women into labor.  I've already tried bouncing on my exercise ball....another trick that supposedly works, but hasn't worked for me.  I've been on it almost every day this week and there's still no baby. 

At this week's doctor's appointment I found out that I've progressed a bit more (to 4 cm), so that was good news, and she told me that she'd induce me next week if I wanted, and advised that that's what she would do if she was in my shoes.  So that's what I've decided to do.  Unless the baby comes on her own earlier this week, I'm going to be induced on Thursday morning, May 27th.  So it looks like we'll be having two birthdays to celebrate in the family this week:  Daddy's on the 23rd (actually, that's my grandpa's birthday, too!), and baby girl's on the 27th (or any of the days from the 22nd-26th would be just fine, too!!!).

still waiting....

Yesterday was one of the most disappointing of my life.  Around noon, out of nowhere, I started having fairly strong contractions between 2-4 minutes apart.  Knowing how dilated I was and how low the baby was, according to my doctor, my husband (who was home for lunch just after they started) started rushing around the house like a maniac, getting us ready to get to the hospital while I frantically called my parents and various friends, looking for somewhere to take Rachel until my parents could get here and pick her up.  He had visions of delivering the baby in the car if we didn't hurry up.  Within the hour we were at the hospital, with the contractions still a steady 2-4 minutes apart. 

(Someday I'll add details here about the horrible accident we almost witnessed on the way to the hospital and the way my husband practically broke my hand while squeezing it in the triage room....but for now, I'll get to the story at hand.)

They took me back to the labor and delivery triage room and got me all hooked up to monitors.  The baby's heart rate looked good and my contractions continued to be every 2-4 minutes.  They checked me and said I was 3 cm dilated, which I had been at the doctor's office last week. 

The nurse called my doctor's office, but my doctor wasn't in, so she talked to another doctor there (who I've never met).  He wanted me to walk for an hour and see if I'd dilate and labor progressed.  So my husband and I waddled around the labor and delivery floor (15 times, if I remember my husband's count correctly--and I should say that I waddled...he just walked slowly for my benefit!) for an hour, while my contractions got stronger and stronger and closer together.  We went back to the room, hoping for some good news of more dilation.

Nope.  Still 3 cm.  She said they'd let me labor for another half hour and check me again to see, but that they'd probably send me home.  Meanwhile, a doctor from the hospital came in to talk to me and tell me that it probably wasn't active labor and they didn't want to induce me because I wasn't 39 weeks, everything looked fine with my health and the baby's health, and it wasn't medically necessary to get the baby out yet (I was 38 weeks, 2 days yesterday....6 days shy of when they apparently would've induced me).  They checked me again a bit later, and I was still only 3 cm.  Another doctor came in and told me the same thing.  Not labor.  Huh?  I was in PAIN!  It sure was labor!  Maybe not active labor, but definitely labor. 

So even though I was still having painful contractions every 2-4 minutes, they sent me home. I don't know if I've ever been more disappointed.  We were sure this was it--who has contractions that close together, that painful, and is already 3 cm dilated, and gets sent home????  I was devastated.   They also told me that it would be a hard call about when to come back, since I was already having the contractions so close together and they were painful.  They said I'd have to judge when they started getting more painful and then come....or if my water broke.  I was hoping for the water to break so I'd know for sure.

So I spent another couple of hours in pain every 3 minutes or so at home, until finally the pain started dying away and the contractions slowed down.  More disappointment.  No baby.  At least not on May 18th.  (Not that I was set on May 18th....I'm just ready for this baby to come out!!!!)

The good part was that I was able to sleep last night.  I was worried that the contractions would last into the night and I'd never get rest, but I did.  And today at Babies R Us I was still able to park in the "expectant mothers" parking space....I have to look at the positive side here.  :)

Today there haven't been any contractions.  Just lots of discomfort, like usual.  I know the end is in sight...but it just seems to be taking FOR-EVER to get there.  Tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment and I'm anxious to see what MY doctor has to say about the whole thing. 

the waiting game

I got some good news and some bad news at the doctor's office yesterday.  The good news is that I'm 3 cm dilated and things are ready to go.  The doctor said it could be any day.  The bad news is that it could be any day. 

See, I had resigned myself to the fact that this baby likely wouldn't come until her due date or after (since I had originally been due June 7th, and they moved it up to May 30th....I kept telling myself she wouldn't come until June).  Now that the doctor has told me it could be any day, I want it to happen NOW!  I'm becoming very, VERY impatient.  I know she'll come when she's ready, but I'm really, really tired, uncomfortable, and just SO ready for this season of life (pregnancy) to be done and the next one (mothering an infant again) to start. 

But here I am waiting.  The waiting game is not one I want to play any longer.  I'm ready!!!

on being a mother

What a difference a year makes...

(37 weeks today...full term!)

This is what I was thinking last year on Mother's Day.  It's been a looooooooooong year since then, and I'm so glad not to be in that place anymore.

This year I have much happier, hopeful thoughts in my mind, but I can't stop thinking about last mother's day, and how hard it was.  And how hard I know it is for so many women because of loss or infertility or heartache of some sort.   And  really, I don't want to forget, because I always want to be sensitive to those I know in those situations.

I've spent the last month or so really trying to enjoy and make the most of each minute I have alone with Rachel before the baby comes.

Even though I'm usually tired and often don't want to, when she asks to play a game or color with me, or whatever, I try to comply, because I know that a month from now when she asks, it'll be a lot harder to say yes. 

And I'm almost always rewarded for making the sacrifice, as I hear, "This is so fun, Mommy, playing games with you," or whatever it is we've been doing together.  I hope that I'm making memories with her that she'll happily remember.

Yesterday morning we made pizza dough and then banana bread together (I've been trying to fill the freezer with meals and food, preparing for after the birth).  She had a great time, and though it slows things down to have her "help" me, I keep reminding myself that it's the memories that matter, not just that I got it done. 

I've also been trying to focus on the enjoyable parts of pregnancy (at this stage, they're hard to come by, but it really does help improve my mood when I focus on them!).  I know it is a gift to have this little girl growing inside me, and I don't want to lose sight of that in my discomfort and difficulty.  I know that this is very likely the last time I'll experience pregnancy, and though I don't really enjoy being pregnant (I'm envious of women who do!), there are definitely things I'll miss about it, so I want to enjoy them now, while I can.  I know the thing I'll miss the most is feeling her move inside of me.  Ever since the first movement back in December, and the immense joy it brought, after feeling no life for so long, each movement has been a wonderful reminder that she's alive, healthy, and growing.  Now that the movements are forceful, uncomfortable, and often annoying, I still love knowing that she's alive, healthy, and growing!  

(Oh, and I also know I'll miss being able to eat ice cream whenever I want!  After this baby comes I'll have to start paying more attention to what I eat and ice cream certainly won't be on the list of what I should be eating very often!)

I'm kind of rambling, and don't know if I really have a point, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a mother (pregnant or not) is hard, and sometimes it's easy to get frustrated by all of the sacrifices I have to make, but when I choose to focus on the positive, instead of the negative, I realize that the sacrifices are so worth it. 

Happy Mothers' Day.

showers of blessing

My friends threw me a little baby shower on Friday.  Because it's a girl and I have all the baby gear I need and about every pink thing imaginable from Rachel's infancy, they showered me with diapers and wipes instead of clothes or baby gear.  Look at all of these diapers!!!

What a blessing it will be to not have to buy diapers for quite awhile!

(And while I'm at it, here's a picture of the new crib.)

Of course, I forgot to take pictures at the shower because I was too busy enjoying hanging out with some of my favorite people who I don't get to see very often.

The shower wasn't a surprise--my friend Amanda asked me about it about a month ago to find a date that worked for everyone--but what WAS a surprise is that my dearest friend, Allecia, came from out of state!  I wasn't expecting that, and was so excited to see her.  I did remember to take a picture the next morning....

(she was in cahoots with my husband and arranged to stay at our house that night, without my knowing beforehand, so we got to stay up late talking after everyone left and hang out a little the next morning...when I could get a word in with my chatty Rachel who monopolized the conversation, telling Miss Allecia every little thing that popped into her brain!)

It was a wonderful night (complete with cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory!  Yum!).  Now I'm really ready to welcome this little girl into our family.  26 days and counting until she's due! (and of course it's wishful thinking, but maybe she'll even come early!  Rachel was three days early....)