I haven't really written much about the transition from one child to two. Right now I feel like I'm in survival mode. I'm so tired and no matter how hard I try (and I AM really trying!), I can't seem to find any sort of schedule for little miss Rebecca. Every day is SO different. One day she's good as gold in the morning and fussy all afternoon/evening, when all she wants to do is eat and catnap for a few minutes here and there. The next day she'll be super fussy in the morning and want to eat all the time and sleep all afternoon and evening. And she has only slept through the night two other times besides those first two times (once was last night! Hooray!!!). She's usually up sometime between 2:00 and 3:00 AM and again between 5:00 and 6:00. Thankfully she goes right back to sleep most of those times, so we're not up too long with her, but there are some nights when she's wide awake and would like to play at 2:30 AM. I'm thankful that doesn't happen too often, though. But I'd really like some predictability and a schedule!
We have made a little bit of progress, in that I can now put her down to sleep awake and she'll fall asleep on her own with only minimal fussing. Originally, she only wanted to sleep in our arms (the nurse told us this after night one in the nursery at the hospital--she only wanted to be held, and she's right! She's definitely a cuddler!). She'd only fall asleep in our arms, we'd try to put her down, and she'd wake up and cry again until we could get her asleep again in our arms. We'd try to put her down again and often it would start all over. It was an exhausting process, unless we just let her stay in our arms or on our belly. She still would LOVE that, but that doesn't allow me to get a thing done, so in the last week I've been putting her down drowsy but awake, and letting her cry (which is agony to listen to!), and now she only fusses a few minutes and then she's out. It helps a lot.
The hardest part of having two is finding time to spend with Rachel. Rebecca usually needs me immediately when she starts crying, so I have to stop whatever I'm doing with Rachel and tend to Rebecca. Rachel is doing great with not getting upset about it, but I need some planned time with Rachel. She CRAVES attention, especially now, and I want to give it to her, but I'm struggling to figure out when. It doesn't help that I'm just so tired. I feel like I'm just surviving through each day....not really thriving at all.
But despite the struggle, it is definitely a lot easier this time around. Mostly because I know that the survival mode will end! When Rachel was a baby people would tell me it would get easier, but I didn't know anything else--I only knew the sleep deprivation and frustration of a constantly fussy baby. Now I know that they're right--it
will get better. I don't want to wish these precious months of infancy away, like I tended to do with Rachel, because Rebecca is so sweet and cuddly right now, and I want to savor her like this, since she'll grow so fast. So I'm enjoying it, despite the frustration and sleep deprivation....but part of me can't wait to get through it, too!
She's a month old today. A month! She can hold her head up longer, track things with her eyes, and best of all, we've seen glimpses of smiles here and there the last couple of days. The other day I even heard her first little coo, as she was sitting in her bouncy chair, "talking" to the animals hanging down. So sweet! I can't wait for more to come--they're almost here!
Here's Rebecca at one month.
And this was Rachel at one month.
What do you think....do they look alike?
