and she's off...

I Trust You’ll Treat Her Well

By Victor Buono

Dear World:

I bequeath to you today one little girl … in a crispy dress … with two brown eyes … and a happy laugh that ripples all day long … and a flash of light brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well.

She’s slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning … and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good Bye”… and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she’ll learn to stand in line … and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She’ll learn to tune her ears to the sounds of school-bells … and deadlines … and she’ll learn to giggle … and gossip … and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she’ll learn to be jealous. And now she’ll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she’ll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in a sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn to kiss lilac blossoms in the morning dew. No, now she’ll worry about important things. Like grades … and which dress to wear … and who’s best friend is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls. And now she’ll find new heroes.

For five full years now I’ve been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she’ll learn to share her worship with her teachers … which is only right. But, no longer will I be the smartest man in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time … she’ll learn what it means to be a member of a group. With all it’s privileges. And it’s disadvantages too.

She’ll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud. Or kiss dogs. Or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms. Or even watch ants scurry across cracks in the summer sidewalk.

Today she’ll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I’ll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to become a woman.

So, World. I bequeath to you today one little girl … in a crispy dress … with two brown eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long … and a flash of light brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I trust you’ll treat her well.

I ran across this poem over the weekend when I was looking for something else. It made me cry...a lot. I cried when I read it, I cried later when I told my husband about it, I cried that night, just thinking about it. I'm posting it (crying again), not to make you cry, but because it so perfectly explains how I'm feeling today.

Sending my little treasure of a girl out into the big world, knowing that this is just the first of many stages of "letting go," is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. She's thrilled, and I'm thrilled for her, but I also don't want the world to spoil what makes her so unique, and that's why I'm so sad. I don't want her to change, and I know the world will force itself on her in one way or another. I want her to fit in, but I want her to be herself. I want her to make friends, but I want them to be friends who love her for who she is.  Questions swirl around constantly in my mind....Have I grounded her enough?  Prepared her well enough?  Played with her enough?  Loved her enough?  I want her to grow up...but I don't....

But it is what it is.  It'll happen whether I want it to or not.

And so today she's off on her new adventure. And it's raining HARD....I went to school for 13 years, taught for 10, and I don't think I EVER had rain on the first day of school.  Now it's her first day and there's a thunderstorm????  Where will we take the first day of school pictures in her cute little outfit?  How will we take pictures of her getting on the bus??  Ugh.  Figures.  This is why I'm awake at 5 AM on the first day of school.  Worrying about picture taking!  Never thought I'd have THIS to contend with too, on top of my other emotions this morning.

EDITED TO ADD:

The rain stopped!  Yay!  My worrying was for nothing.  We got plenty of pictures.  And I managed to hold in my tears until after she left, which is what I was hoping.

Then I set to work making these to surprise her:

Can't wait for her to be home in an hour!

(Many people on facebook commented at how much she looks like me.  My mom reminded me of this picture of my first day of kindergarten, so here you go, for comparison's sake...hope you don't mind your picture on here, too, Jennifer!!)

technical difficulties

I had some pictures I wanted to post, but my laptop, sadly, has died.  :( 

It's been on its last leg for awhile now, but I think it's finally bit the dust this time. 

Anyway, I can't stand the way the editing software works on our desktop, so I'm not going to post the pictures right now because it's taking me forever. 

Sorry.

I'll be back on Wednesday with a first day of school post, sure to illicit tears (from my mom, anyway--probably not from anyone else, unless you're sending a kindergartener off to school this year, too!).

Oh, and here's a gem from Rachel:

Rachel:  Daddy, do you know what Mommy says she's going to do all day when I go to kindergarten on the first day?

Daddy:  What?

Rachel:  She said she's going to cry on your elbow all day.

(So, of course, I said "shoulder," but I think the picture of crying on someone's elbow is quite comical!)

gentle start

Today was Rachel's "gentle start" day of kindergarten.  They go in small groups (there were 7 kids there today) for a couple of hours over the course of a week.  School started for the rest of the district today, but kindergarteners don't start until next Wednesday. 

But she was so excited to go today.  Since she'll ride the bus next week, I took pictures today at school, since I won't get to that day.

In typical Rachel fashion, she wouldn't look directly at the camera.

She had a good morning, and the teacher said she didn't talk her ear off, but was cautious and careful, so I was happy to hear that. 

Today wasn't emotional for me, but I know it will be next week, putting her on that bus, sending her off into the big, bad world. I already started getting all weepy about it yesterday, just thinking about it.
 

the back yard

As we were opening the gate to the back yard today, Rachel said, "Quick, Mom!  Open the gate!  This is where all the magic and fun begins!"

I don't know where she comes up with half of the things she says....I wish I could remember all of them, but this one struck me as really funny. 

That's my crazy girl!

Here she is, enjoying the magic and fun of the back yard a few days ago.

insomnia induced post

I've had trouble sleeping lately.  I don't know why.  I'm definitely tired.  This morning I woke up before 4 AM in order to scratch my thousands of mosquito bites (okay, so I'm exaggerating....I maybe have 10?  But they really, REALLY itch like a thousand!  The other night this ONE mosquito decided to bite me over and over and over and I was never able to catch him in the act in order to slap him and kill him!  Ugh!  He's probably been bragging to his mosquito friends at how many times he was able to get the same unsuspecting woman!).  That's probably not why I woke up, but that's what I did as I lay there, trying to go back to sleep.  I finally decided to get up and scratch them instead.

I'm sitting here yawning, but I can't sleep.  I know that Rebecca will likely be waking up in a half hour, so it's kind of useless to try anyway.  Might as well go make some coffee and get on with my day.

We just found out last night that our bus stop will be right on our corner (and we live on the corner, so it's just steps away from our door!).  Woo-hoo!!  It used to be down several blocks, which means I would have had to bundle up both girls every morning to walk down and wait for the school bus, and then right before lunch I'd have to bundle up Rebecca again and walk down to wait again to pick Rachel up.  But a year and a half ago my neighbor gave birth to twin girls in the middle of winter, and petitioned the bus company to PLEASE move the bus stop closer to her house so she didn't have to cart two tiny preemies down to the bus stop in order to take her older daughter down to the bus.  They agreed to do it temporarily.  Last year at the beginning of the year she convinced the bus driver to talk to the bus company to please move it again for the year.  Even though the babies were older, it was still a huge hassle for her to have to walk four kids (including two babies) down to the bus stop, so the bus driver did a lot of work to move it down to our neighbor's driveway.  Well, yesterday I looked online because the bus information has just been posted, and found out it's not in our neighbor's driveway this year, because the bus is coming from the opposite direction, which means it's across her street, on our corner right in front of our house!  So my neighbor won't have to bundle up her 18 month old twins, and I won't have to bundle up Rebecca, either!  I can just watch for the bus and run out quickly with Rachel when it comes.  Rebecca will be fine looking out the window for 30 seconds while I get Rachel on the bus (or off the bus).  Yay!

Wednesday is Rachel's "gentle start" day at school.  She goes with about 5 other children for a couple of hours.  (She doesn't ride the bus that day.)  It's actually the first day of school for everyone else in the district, but kindergarteners don't officially start until the following week.  They're supposed to do some assessment and it's just a chance for her to see her room and the school, get to know her teacher a little, and hopefully feel more comfortable the following week when she has her official first day of school.  I'm anxious to see how it goes!  This day doesn't bother me too much.  The first day will be hard for me, though, putting her on that big yellow school bus.  :(   But I'm also looking forward to getting into the swing of things with our new schedule and everything.

Last night we went for a walk in the little "downtown" area of our suburb.  There are fountains, a creek, and a nice trail and boardwalk.  We don't go down there very often, because it's sometimes hard to find a place to park, but it was a beautiful night, and we all had fun.  Enjoy the pictures from our outing.

zoo trip and more

It was a beautiful day for the zoo yesterday (judging from the huge crowd, I'll say everyone else was sick of being cooped up for the last month, too!).  Rachel's been asking and asking to go, and I wanted to make sure we got there before school starts. 

Rebecca made lots of animal noises as we saw the different animals.  She makes a barking noise for pretty much every animal she sees, until I tell her the correct sound. 

She was scared of these goats at first, but it didn't take long for her to muster up enough courage to go touch it. 

Then she plopped down behind this sleeping goat and petted him to death (until some other kid came over and purposely SHOOK the poor goat awake!)

Yesterday afternoon we played outside  (making up for lost time, I guess, and all of the time we've had to spend inside over the last month of soaring temps).

Enjoy the pictures!

swinging and sisterly love

Rebecca adores Rachel.  Sometimes the feeling is mutual, but sometimes it's not.  Overall, though, Rachel enjoys playing with Rebecca (in small doses). 

Other times, she feels more like this.

(Actually, they both were enjoying this, but Rachel didn't want me to take a picture, and Rebecca smiled AFTER I took the pictures.)

And here's a happy Rebecca--finally able to play outside after weeks of it being too hot and humid to do much of anything outside.  She LOVES swinging (keeps asking for more whenever I try to take her out of the swing) and just doing about anything outside.

This is just a crazy Rachel.  She loves this swing and lays in it forever, asking me to push her.

cleaning house

How anyone with a one year old has a clean house, I'll never know.

This morning we had an appraiser coming (we're refinancing) and needed the house clean.  We spent several agonizing hours yesterday afternoon, evening, and this morning cleaning it (it hasn't been this clean in a long, long time!), and every time we'd do something, Rebecca would come along and destroy what we had just done.  She cried whenever the vacuum was on (Rachel is STILL is afraid of the vacuum and hides in her room whenever it's on), and spent a lot of time hanging on my legs while I tried to get something accomplished, wanting me to pick her up.

So not only is the actual cleaning process VERY hard, but KEEPING it that way is probably even harder.  This morning it was almost completely clean, but I had to follow Rebecca, aka "the human tornado," and put away everything she moved out of its place.  I couldn't wait until she was down for her nap so I wouldn't have to worry about her path of destruction.  And as soon as she got up from her nap we all left the house (I needed to get milk and bread anyway) so she couldn't destroy it!  We got home and the appraiser was already here, doing what he needed to do outside the house.  I let him in the house and then we went in the backyard to play, again, so she wouldn't destroy the clean house. 

So he's been gone for about a half hour, and already the house is no longer clean!  (Cleaner than usual, yes, but already on its way to Rebecca-induced destruction!) 

Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to keep it clean!

thank you

Thank you to everyone who left a comment or sent me an email over the last couple of days, assuring me that you enjoy reading whatever I post on my blog.  It's nice to know you're still interested in what goes on with us, and appreciate my efforts.

I wasn't planning on stopping or anything, but it's just nice to know someone wants to read what I have to say (or at least see pictures of my cute girls!).

so proud....

Rachel won first place in her age group in the coloring/drawing contest that our favorite ice cream store held in July!  (it's the place that starts with a G for those of you who know the area....)

We're so proud of her, but not half as proud as she is of herself for winning the blue ribbon!  She loves it!  (I, on the other hand, love the gift card she won!  YUM!)

In case you can't tell in the picture, she had to draw herself into the circus-themed picture, and then color it, so she drew herself doing a handstand on the pedestal, with ice cream cones balancing on her feet!  She LOVES to draw and color, and really wanted to win (I don't know how many times she talked about it that first week after we turned it in, but then we both forgot about it, and we just got a phone call today telling us that she had won!).  She started over about three different times to get it just right, and was so excited to finally hand it in when she had finished it.  I'm so glad for her that she won.

noteworthy?

Not much new going on around here, which is why I haven't posted anything.  Sometimes I wonder if anyone really wants to read the stuff I put on here....  Mostly it's for the few family members who read it, and for myself and my girls in 20 years and we want to reminisce.  If there are any other readers out there these days, thanks for sticking with us!  I know our lives aren't all that exciting!

Here's what's going on....don't know if it's particularly noteworthy, but here you go.

Rachel got a haircut.  She wanted it short, so short it is.  She keeps looking in the mirror saying, "I look so different!"

Rebecca makes animal noises.  She's now got her own versions down of a dog, cat, cow, lion, and sometimes a rooster.  They're quite comical.  She's working on learning body parts.  She can point to my nose, but not her own.  She can point to her ears, hair, and sometimes her feet.  She's learning.

Rachel starts kindergarten in three weeks.  THREE WEEKS!  I feel like it's the beginning of an era.  An era I'm not ready for.  And one that I know will go by way too fast (the past five years have gone by in a flash).  We've been doing lots of school shopping.  She picked out her first outfit completely on her own the other day.  Usually the things she likes aren't things I would pick, so I don't buy them (I know that will have to soon change, but for now she wears what I buy her without much comment--unless it's tan!), but this time I liked what she chose, so we bought it.  And she was so proud.  She told the cashier that she picked it out all by herself for kindergarten.