vacation preview

We're still on vacation, but I finally have an internet connection at our hotel for the first time of the whole trip, so I'm taking advantage of it. When you stay in national parks you're close to lots of beautiful things, but you don't have all of the comforts of home that you come to expect. Some people like it that way (my husband!) but it's been rough for me!

We've had a good time and seen some gorgeous sights, but I have missed my little girl like CRAZY! I don't know how people do it and leave....it's been so, so hard. I guess I'll get used to it, but I just want to hold her and squeeze her and see her precious smile so much! She's doing so well at Grandma's though (I've called home twice almost every day!) so that makes me feel better. They seem to be having a great time together.

I won't write many details now...too much to say and not enough time. We fly back tomorrow (Monday) and will get back to Grandma's really late tomorrow night. Our little one will be in bed but you can bet that my first thing upon walking in the door will be to go up and look in on her while she's sleeping.

Here are a few pictures, just to give you a glimpse into our trip. I'll add more later.

Our float trip down the Snake River in the Grand Tetons was my favorite part of the trip.

We drove to Idaho just because my husband wanted to add it to the list of states he's been in! I also added Wyoming and Montana to my list...he'd been to those two already.

I didn't like the million of geysers too much, but Old Faithful was pretty amazing.

a day at the zoo

We've left for vacation, but not quite. We're at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We actually leave our little one tomorrow night after we put her to bed. But today we all went to the zoo--because of our membership at our zoo we were able to get into their zoo for half price, which made it pretty reasonable (some other zoos are free, but this isn't one of them). It was a gorgeous day and we had a great time. She had her first ride on a carousel, in addition to seeing lots of animals.

The coolest was the hippos swimming in their tanks. I couldn't believe how HUGE they were! They swam right by us and just seemed to go on forever! Enjoy the pictures. Daddy got some great ones.

What a lovable, messy face....we stopped for an ice cream.... I don't think she could decide if she liked Grandma's chocolate, Mommy's vanilla, or Daddy's Butter Pecan the best!

Giraffes are so cool...maybe I like them because they're tall, like me.

I can't remember what these are called, but they were in the African Savannah.

Look at all of his wrinkles! My mom says he needs Botox!!

Our little vole (a rodent!)

My sweet girl and me

Maybe the ugliest fish I've ever seen!

a swim

It was 95 degrees today... definitely a day for swimming. My friend, Allecia, belongs to a pool in her neighborhood and we've been talking about going together all summer. Today it finally happened. I wasn't sure if my little one would like it or not, since she's only been once. When she got there she looked around apprehensively for a couple of minutes, but once she saw all of the kids in the pool (it was PACKED!) yelling and having fun, she was smiling and pointing and ready for a good time.

First we went in the baby pool, which goes from 1 ft deep to 2 ft deep. It's pretty big, so there was plenty of room for her to walk around. At first she walked quickly and kept falling over, face first, into the water. It startled her, and she wanted to stay in my lap for a few minutes before trying again, but soon she'd be scrambling to get down and back to playing. She learned to walk slower to keep her balance as the afternoon went on. She loved carrying toys around--one in each hand--as she walked.

After awhile we got in the big pool. She wasn't as comfortable there. It was a bit colder, so that could be why. I held her awhile and then she got in her floaty thing. She liked that for a few minutes, but then reached to come back to me, so I'd hold her some more and bounce her up and down. She liked playing with the grating on the side of the pool and splashing a little bit.

We went back to the baby pool and spent the rest of the time there. She cried when it was time to get out for the break (but was quickly cheered up by snacks) and again when we left to come home.

Here are a couple of pictures (courtesy of Allecia--thank you!) of snack/break time. See her little farmer tan on her arm??

What's your name?

She can say her name! For a few days now we've thought we've heard her saying her name, though we were skeptical, but today I finally realized that she really is! I heard her saying something over and over again that sounded sort of like her name, and when I asked her to say her name, that's what she said again (over and over)! Since I don't want to put her name on here, I can't tell you what it sounds like, but suffice it to say that it's VERY cute! She's been doing it all day, off and on.

We've been busy getting ready for vacation. It's kind of bittersweet for me. I'm excited because I know my husband will be in heaven in his mountains, and I'm looking forward to a break and time away, but I'm very, VERY sad about leaving our little one behind. Grandma will take very good care of her, I know, but I've only been away from her for a few hours at a time, so 6 days is going to seem like an eternity. I hope I can have a good time and not spend all of my time missing her and feeling sad about her not being with us. On Saturday we're going to Grandma's house so she'll have a few days to become more comfortable there, and then we leave on Monday night after she goes to bed. We actually don't fly out until early Tuesday morning, but we're going to stay in a hotel in the city that night where the airport is, since it's a couple hours from my parents' house and we have to be there at 5:30 AM!

Hopefully I'll have time to update again before we leave, but if not, I'm sure I'll have a million pictures and stories after we get back, so it should be worth the wait.

Our li'l firecracker

For the 4th of July we went to a party with lots of our good friends. There was lots of food, lots of kids (the oldest is 3 1/2) and lots of fun.

Our little one rediscovered the bouncy seat...you know, the ones little babies lay in and kick and it bounces? Well, it was out for a 2 month old who was there, but all of the "big" kids liked climbing in it and bouncing themselves. Maybe I should get hers out of the basement and get some more use out of it?!

She also liked sitting in these booster seats that were sitting on the floor. Of course, she hates hers at home, but sitting in someone else's when you can crawl in and out of it at will is MUCH more fun! That's her friend, Kaden, next to her. He joined in the fun, too!

And of course, she danced. You could BARELY hear the music, but every time she'd catch a few notes she'd start dancing. She's quite the dancer.

getting to know you...

A friend of mine forwarded me one of those emails today where you answer a bunch of questions about yourself and send it on to a bunch of people. Rather than forward it on to all of my friends I thought I'd save you all the forward and post my answers here. If you want to copy and paste them and answer them for yourself and email them to me, that would be great. If not, that's okay too. Hopefully you'll enjoy learning a little bit about me you might not've known before.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My middle name is after my mom's mother.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday night while talking to friends about leaving our sweet girl home when we go on vacation in a couple of weeks. She's staying with my parents and it'll be the first time I'm away from her. I'm SOOOOOO sad.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? it's okay
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? smoked turkey breast
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes -1
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I don't know....I'm awfully quiet so it would be hard to get to know me.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sometimes...usually with Dad or my brother, Jack.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Before being a mother, maybe, but since, NO WAY!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Low Fat Granola with raisins
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? physically or emotionally? No to both!!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Graeter's Strawberry Chip
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their smiles
15. RED OR PINK? pink
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my insecurities around other people, especially those I don't know well
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my parents--even though we visit quite a bit, I really wish they lived in the same area so we could do things together
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? khaki capri pants and barefeet
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? ice cream....not Graeter's Strawberry Chip, though! It's gone for the rest of the season...I'll have to wait until next spring.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The TV--my husband is watching something on the National Geographic Channel.
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Cerulean blue (the color of the ocean in the carribbean)
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? chocolate chip cookies baking, lilies of the valley, lilacs, the top of my daughter's head
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my husband while we were in Barnes and Noble last night and I couldn't find him!! No, wait. Today I called a store to ask how late they are open today.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? yes!
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? figure skating
27. HAIR COLOR? Brown
28. EYE COLOR? hazel
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Cheeseburgers
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? definitely happy endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Good Shepherd--VERY slow and dull!!!
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? pink t shirt
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? What about spring?! It's my favorite....but I guess summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? depends on the person giving them!
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? mom's butterscotch pie with whipped cream
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ????
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ????
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? nothing--I'm on a laptop
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? nothing--it was our anniversary and we went out all evening.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? My daughter's full belly laughs
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? beatles
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Honduras
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I play the piano, though not as well as I once could
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Toledo
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Everybody

take a hike

We took a trip down to the hills on Saturday and went hiking for a couple of hours. My husband and I are going on vacation out to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons in a few weeks and he's trying to get us into shape for hiking. I know I should....but I drag my feet because I hate that burning feeling in my legs that hiking uphill brings. (I'm still feeling it in my calves this morning!)

Anyway, Daddy carried our happy hiker on his back again and off we went.She loved it. She especially loved getting down to the bottom of the gorge and getting out of the backpack and running around. She did a nose dive, which is why we're sitting on this log (I was comforting her and then cleaning her up), but she recovered just fine and was ready for the trip back up. Here are some of the things we saw.

This is supposed to be a waterfall but there was only a tiny little drip....can you tell we're in a drought?

This last one is looking out of a hole in the cave.

celebrations

Last Sunday was not only Father's Day, but also my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. My brothers and I had a book made for them with pictures and memories from family and friends. We celebrated by cooking out at our house, except my youngest brother and his wife couldn't be here, since they live in NYC and had just returned from their honeymoon. We missed them, but we had a fun celebration. It was the first time my oldest brother and his family could visit since coming back from their year-long sabbatical in North Carolina. We're all glad to have them back (and I think they're all glad to be back, though I think they enjoyed their adventurous year, too!).

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

Happy Father's Day, Dad (my Dad)!

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

These pictures we took tonight. As I was playing with her hair I realized that I could probably put some pigtails in, so I tried. She isn't too excited about sitting still....EVER...so they're crooked, but not too terrible for our first attempt. Maybe when she's older and can sit still for a few more seconds at a time we'll do it for going out in public!

she wore an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny....

...white polka dotted swim suit! Sorry, not a yellow polka dot bikini, but close enough!

I know it's been a long time since I've written, but we were out of town with Daddy for his business trip, the next day she had a doctor's appointment, which ended up in having to go get a bunch of bloodwork done, which took all afternoon, and the next two days I was down with a cold, and now here it is Father's Day and my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, so it's been a busy week!

But anyway, back to the polka dotted swim suit....she got to go for her first swim in the pool at the hotel, which she loved.

She also got to go to the beach. It wasn't a great beach--very rocky and little sand to play in, but she still enjoyed it. The water was cold, so she only went in up to her ankles, but she enjoyed having the waves come up on her legs.

The trip went fairly well. The hotel was nice and was right on the lake. It was relaxing and we had beautiful weather.

Our room had a balcony/patio so when she napped we could go sit out there and look at the lake and not have to stay in the dark room with her (though one time I did go to sleep when she did at 7:30 pm!! Daddy went out with a friend from work who was there, too and took pictures of the sunset while his friend fished.)

One night she woke up several times, which means we woke up several times. She was inconsolable, which means I had to take her out of the room so Daddy (and those in the rooms around us) could sleep. We went down to the big lobby where there was a gas fireplace that she LOVED--everytime we went out into the hallway she started running toward the lobby saying, "hot, hot, hot," talking about the fire she knew was down there. So at 2 AM she and I were in the lobby in our pajamas rocking in a rocking chair by the gas fireplace in the middle of June. Then she got down and started boogying to the Muzak being pumped through the speakers. The security guy behind the desk just looked at me and gave me a sympathetic smile (I'm sure I was a sight in my PJs, half asleep, standing by with my wide awake, happy, dancing toddler).

The doctor's appointment didn't go well. It was a weight check to see how much weight she'd gained in the last two months. She only gained 2 ounces. She's not even 18 pounds yet at 14 months old. So the pediatrician sent us to have bloodwork done. She said she wanted to start ruling things out. Thankfully there's a children's hospital "close to home" clinic near the doctor's office, so the people there are used to taking blood from little ones. But she was still screaming bloody murder and I had to hold her down or the needle would come out. And they took a TON of blood and that needle was in her forever. My poor little girl. She has a huge, ugly bruise on the inside of her arm now.

The bloodwork came back fine except for a thyroid study. Apparently her thyroid works fine, but the pituitary gland in the brain isn't sending the right signal to the thyroid to tell it to send out the growth hormone. So she's not growing like she should. So now we have to go to an endocrinologist. The doctor said it will probably take awhile to get in, so it may be awhile before I know anything. I'll keep you all posted.

another walk in the woods

On Saturday morning we decided to take another walk. Once again we strapped her on Daddy's back and took off. She was pretty quiet this time, just looking all around, but before too long I looked back and realized she was asleep! It wasn't her naptime, but she can't tell time, so she must've thought it was time. It was so funny to watch her head bobbing up and down and side to side, with every step that Daddy took. She slept for probably the last 20 minutes of the walk. Then we went into the nature center, just because we hadn't been there in awhile and wanted to see what was there. She was asleep when we walked in, but she woke up before too long--maybe because Daddy stopped walking. So we got her out and she got to look at the fish in the fishtank, a turtle, a toad, lots of stuffed birds, and some huge pinecones. Mostly she enjoyed going up to the other little girl in the nature center and touching her. She enjoys touching other kids. Like I've said before, she's very social.

Saturday afternoon we drove down to my cousin's graduation party in the southern part of the state. It was the longest 2 hour car ride we've ever taken, I think. She wouldn't nap, like we thought she would, and screamed instead. The ride back was a bit better, but not much. What was the difference between this trip and the last trip up to my brother's wedding? I'll never know.

Next week we're going on a business trip with Daddy! We're going up to the lake and staying at a lodge there while Daddy does his work during the days. We'll get to hang out at the pool--I hope she likes it--and on the beach. Hopefully she won't eat all of the sand on the beach and others can enjoy playing on it, too, but I wouldn't put it past her! I'm nervous about her sleeping, but hoping she'll do as well as she did on our last hotel stay. We shall see!

a day at the park

Since Daddy was home on Memorial day we went to the park in the morning. Thanks to my good friend, Nancy, we have a backpack to put her in and we decided to try it for the first time on our walk. Daddy carried her and I carried the camera bag.
She loved riding on Daddy's back and was smiling and babbling the whole way. We hiked through the woods awhile and then went up to where the playground was. First she got to swing. A little boy came along with his parents and got in the swing next to her for awhile, which she loved (she's our little Miss Social!) and then we headed over to the rest of the playground. This was her first time on a playground, other than swings. She wasn't quite sure what to do, so I had to help her climb up the steps. She loves climbing steps like a big girl--picking her foot WAY off the ground to put it on the step, but Mommy or Daddy has to be holding her hand to do this.

She doesn't really like slides too well, so I went down the slide with her--these already-had-a-baby hips don't really fit too well in a toddler slide! It wasn't a comfortable ride down. But she seemed to enjoy it a little more than when she normally goes down a slide.

Then Daddy showed her the chimes under the slide. She loved moving those back and forth and making cool sounds. That was the highlight of the playground....until she realized that she was walking on mulch. I think I've mentioned how much she enjoys picking things up. Well, sticks, leaves, and mulch top her list. So when she realized she was standing in a huge field of mulch, she immediately stooped down, filled both hands with as much as she could grab, and proceeded to shove a piece in her mouth. When does the mouth thing end???? We got ready to go after the mulch eating and hiked back through the woods to the car. Before we were even out of the park she was asleep! We wore the poor girl out. It was a fun family morning.

She's learned a new word: HOT! The other day Daddy was cooking steaks on the grill outside and she saw the smoke coming out (no, he didn't burn them!) and pointed to it. Daddy said, "It's hot!" So she whispered, "hot." Daddy praised her so she started saying it over and over and over. It's the first word she's said that actually sounds just like it's supposed to sound, so it's so cool to actually hear her speaking a real word! This morning I was making her a scrambled egg and she saw steam coming up from the skillet and said, "hot." So cute.

the day after

'Twas the day after the wedding and all through the house, the people were exhausted, and slept like a louse...

...or something like that.

Last night was the wedding, so yesterday morning was busy with getting the car packed and ready to go (it takes the whole house shoved in your car to travel with a one year old, did you know that?)--and I had only had 3 hours of sleep (I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of everything I had to do and take). We left at 9:30 and drove two hours, had lunch, greeted lots of family and friends we hadn't seen in a long time, chased after our one year old who was very excited to be let loose in a huge hotel lobby, baby proofed a hotel room for said one year old, gave her a nap while I hung out at the pool watching my niece and nephew swim and talked to my mom, dad, and brothers (while Daddy took a nap too!) fed her an early dinner before the wedding, got all of us ready to go....and that's all BEFORE the wedding! Then came trying to keep her controlled in a big room with lots of new people. She LOVED it, but was quite talkative, including during the wedding! Daddy had to take her out to the foyer because otherwise no one would've heard Jack and Megan say their vows! But, like mother like daughter: at my uncle's wedding when I was two, I talked the whole time, saying, "Da! Da!" because I saw my daddy up in front as the best man. My aunt and uncle reminded me of that last night after the wedding was over.

Then we had to go upstairs to have pictures taken. There were people and food and photography lights and cords everywhere, so she was like a bull in a china shop. We finally found a big empty room off of the room where the pictures were taken and she was able to run around to her heart's content until it was our turn for a picture She loved it. It had a little balcony over the reception room where everyone else was milling around, so she could look out over it and see people, dance up and down, and squeal away, and no one cared.

Dinner couldn't have come soon enough--she had had an early dinner at the hotel (veggies and some yogurt) but she was starving and had eaten almost an entire snack cup full of cheerios and lots of my hors devours (is that how you spell that??). She was antsy, but was well behaved and smiley to everyone who came to talk to her.

After dinner it was already an hour and a half past her bedtime and she was rubbing her eyes and yawning, so Daddy took her back to the hotel. I stayed a little longer to visit some more. Whew! I was wiped out.

We were certain she wouldn't sleep all night, but we were wrong!!! We stayed in a really cool hotel that used to be a Quaker Oats mill, and the rooms are all in silos, so they're all round! It provided some good nooks and crannies to put a play pen for her to sleep. Our bed was kind of back in an alcove, so we put her in the other section away from us and behind the couch, so she couldn't see us. She slept without making a sound. I woke up at 6:00 and couldn't believe I hadn't heard her, so I had to go check on her to make sure she was okay. She was sacked out on her back with her hands up above her head (she never sleeps on her back!). She slept until 6:30 and then woke up as happy as can be. My parents' room was right next to ours and Grandma came over and helped take care of her while we got everything packed up and ready to go.

We had a nice breakfast with our whole extended family (minus Jack and Megan who had left at 5:30 for their honeymoon in Mexico--my mom got up and saw them off) at the hotel and then we came home.

We couldn't believe how well she did. She slept almost the whole drive up and back and was happy for the time she was awake in the car. She didn't cry really at all the whole time--just full of smiles and excited to see everyone she met. The wedding was very simple and pretty. It was in an old refurbished downtown mansion, just a block from the hotel, so we could walk. The reception got a little crazy after dinner and all of the designated dances (bride and groom, bride and dad, groom and mom....during which I cried, as I saw my mom crying while dancing with her baby boy). Megan and her family (and Jack, too) love a good party, so it got loud after that, but my niece, who is five, LOVED dancing with her daddy (my older brother) and her grandpa (my dad). It was fun watching her jump around and enjoy herself so much. I walked back to the hotel with her, my nephew, and my sister-in-law (their mom). My parents and my older brother, the best man, stayed until the end. I was too tired to last.

So we got home today and I was exhausted. I took a two and a half hour nap, which I haven't done in I can't tell you how long! Even my napping when she was a newborn never lasted two and a half hours (because she never slept that long!). It felt so good, but I easily could've slept longer. My husband finally woke me up (I think because he had had enough of playing Mr. Mom!).

Here are the pictures:

Jack and Megan, the happy couple



Me and my sweet girl

My wonderful mom and me

My grandpa and me

My big brother, Ted, giving the toast...which was very funny

My little brother, Jack, my new sister-in-law, Megan, and me

Ted, Leslie, Ethan, and Emma--they left cute little Alex (he's two) with his other grandma, so I didn't get to see him on this trip.

It was a fun couple of days, but it's good to be home!

summertime

Summer has arrived...it was almost 90 degrees today here. Yesterday we tried the little pool again. She still wasn't too excited about it, but she did get braver in the grass. When I first put her down she stood on her toes and just stayed in one place. She's not a girl who likes to be still for long, though, so she ventured out into the yard a bit, tentatively taking a few steps, lifting her knees up really high. Eventually she walked the full length of the yard, back to the swingset. I couldn't believe she was willing to go that far! Then she walked back to bring Mommy the ball (which, incidentally, she calls a "daw.")

She got in the pool briefly, but wanted out almost immediately. Because she was wet and I didn't want to get myself too wet, I sat her on my leg (I was sitting on the ground outside the pool). From there she could dangle her feet into the pool, which she discovered was GREAT fun because she could kick and splash her feet. I think she's deciding maybe the pool isn't so bad after all!

After her "swim," I changed her out of her swimsuit. The outfit she had been wearing was covered with her mess from lunch, so I put a clean outfit on her--a new sunsuit/dress Grandma got her the last time she was here. I just couldn't help taking pictures because it was too funny and cute.

You can't really see it all that well, but you get the idea--plus I think the expression on her face is priceless. And these next pictures I'm including just because she smiled so well for the camera, which she doesn't often do.

Thanks to those of you who wrote a comment or emailed me in support of my last post! It was kind of hard to write those things when I don't know who reads this, but it was nice to get those feelings out, too. I'm feeling better. It was just a rough couple of days there last week.

This weekend is my little brother, Jack's wedding. I'm a bit nervous about the travel, being up late with lots of new people, staying in the same hotel room with our little one (Will she go to sleep in a totally new place with her two favorite people still awake in the room with her???? It's questionable.)..... I'm thinking that I'll probably stay at the reception with my extended family and Daddy will bring her back to the hotel and put her to bed, since the wedding is rather late. We'll see. I'm excited about seeing my family, especially my older brother and his family who have been in North Carolina on sabbatical all year (but are moving back in-state next month! Hooray!).

That's what's going on here in my world. Happy wedding day to Jack and Megan!!!

the other side of the coin

I usually write about the cute or funny things she does and the happy parts of motherhood. Today I don't feel like writing those things. Just like no one ever seems to tell you how hard marriage is and that it's not all hearts, romance, and happily ever after, you often don't hear about the rough spots of motherhood, either, so I think I'm going to share some tales from the other side....the not so pleasant stuff, just so you know that my life isn't all a bowl of cherries. I'm not sure I want to do this, but I suppose I want this to be real and authentic and not just the happy stuff, so I'll give it a try.

All I've ever wanted is to be a stay at home mom. We waited so long to have children so we could prepare financially for that to happen. But it's far from the perfect job that I always thought it would be. My biggest struggle? It's lonely and isolating. Especially when your husband's gone most of the week and you have no one else to talk to but a 13 month old, who basically understands, "NO!" "Don't Touch!" "toys," and "Want to go outside?" This week I hardly saw my husband at all, and most of the time, when we saw each other, we were too exhausted to have much of a conversation. He was really busy with work and now he's gone on a campout with middle schoolers from church. When he's gone so much that means I have more work taking care of you know who, so we're both more worn out. Grandma was here this week for a day and a half, so that helped a lot, but the other days have been hard.

Yes, it's lonely. My friends almost all work. I always had pictures of going to parks, meeting for lunch, etc. etc....I don't think I've ever met anyone for lunch in the last 13 months (once for breakfast, though), and I've met a friend at a park only a couple of times. It's just so hard to make schedules mesh--naps, meals, etc. Everyone is on a different schedule. It's a huge ordeal to go ANYWHERE with everything you have to take with you. And when something is planned, something almost always gets in the way--usually sickness. I can't tell you how many times that has happened to us in the last year--either I'm sick, she's sick, or whatever friend I meet or her child is sick!

In addition to being lonely, it can be rather monotonous. The same toys, the same games, the same chores (if I actually work up enough motivation to clean), the same TV shows (she watches "Baby Mozart" over and over and over and over and over.....I know every song by heart and what comes next, and could probably reinact the whole DVD for her!--"Why don't you put something else in?" I hear you asking. Well, I've tried, trust me. Nothing else calms her down and keeps her interest like this one does, so I keep using it...only when she's fussy and nothing's making her happy. It works like a charm.)

When spring came it got a little better. We started spending more time outside and there were new things to do. But even now that is getting dull--she walks around and picks up sticks and stones, while I follow her saying, "Don't eat that! Yucky!" and pull everything out of her mouth. I push her on the swing. I blow bubbles and she chews on the extra wand. We go for a walk around the neighborhood. That's the extent of our outdoor activities.

I find myself looking forward to the days of play doh, crayons, finger paint, tape, stickers, dress up, making tents, playing with dolls, and so forth. I guess there just aren't a lot of things to hold her interest right now, and it's frustrating. I can only chase her with the toy vacuum for so long (I got that at a garage sale last weekend--it's her new favorite game. She doesn't want to play with it herself, but she brings it to me over and over and has me chase her).

I don't want to keep complaining. I guess I've just had a long couple of days and I needed to vent. It's been cold and dreary out and the last few days and we haven't gotten out much. I really do love staying home and wouldn't want it any other way. It just has its ups and downs, just like any job, I suppose.

So here are the ups....just to remind myself!
--her huge smiles when I get her up from bed
--her big, wet, whole mouth kisses
--her little dances she does whenever she hears music
--when she plays peekaboo with me while she lays on the changing table and pulls her pants over her face
--the way she tries to move her fingers to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" whenever I start singing it
--the way she goes right to her highchair whenever I say, "Are you hungry?"
--her new trick of sticking her tongue out and feeling it
--watching her giggle when she sees herself in the mirror
--her belly laugh when she gets tickled
--holding her and giving her her bottle in the morning when she wakes up and she's still a little bit sleepy and wants to linger on my lap (the only time of day she's ever a tiny bit snuggly)

Okay, it's making me cry (joyfully) to think about all of these....and I could come up with so many more. She's so sweet. I guess I can't stay on the other side of the coin for long!