We have made a little bit of progress, in that I can now put her down to sleep awake and she'll fall asleep on her own with only minimal fussing. Originally, she only wanted to sleep in our arms (the nurse told us this after night one in the nursery at the hospital--she only wanted to be held, and she's right! She's definitely a cuddler!). She'd only fall asleep in our arms, we'd try to put her down, and she'd wake up and cry again until we could get her asleep again in our arms. We'd try to put her down again and often it would start all over. It was an exhausting process, unless we just let her stay in our arms or on our belly. She still would LOVE that, but that doesn't allow me to get a thing done, so in the last week I've been putting her down drowsy but awake, and letting her cry (which is agony to listen to!), and now she only fusses a few minutes and then she's out. It helps a lot.
The hardest part of having two is finding time to spend with Rachel. Rebecca usually needs me immediately when she starts crying, so I have to stop whatever I'm doing with Rachel and tend to Rebecca. Rachel is doing great with not getting upset about it, but I need some planned time with Rachel. She CRAVES attention, especially now, and I want to give it to her, but I'm struggling to figure out when. It doesn't help that I'm just so tired. I feel like I'm just surviving through each day....not really thriving at all.
But despite the struggle, it is definitely a lot easier this time around. Mostly because I know that the survival mode will end! When Rachel was a baby people would tell me it would get easier, but I didn't know anything else--I only knew the sleep deprivation and frustration of a constantly fussy baby. Now I know that they're right--it will get better. I don't want to wish these precious months of infancy away, like I tended to do with Rachel, because Rebecca is so sweet and cuddly right now, and I want to savor her like this, since she'll grow so fast. So I'm enjoying it, despite the frustration and sleep deprivation....but part of me can't wait to get through it, too!
She's a month old today. A month! She can hold her head up longer, track things with her eyes, and best of all, we've seen glimpses of smiles here and there the last couple of days. The other day I even heard her first little coo, as she was sitting in her bouncy chair, "talking" to the animals hanging down. So sweet! I can't wait for more to come--they're almost here!
Here's Rebecca at one month.
And this was Rachel at one month.
What do you think....do they look alike?
2 comments:
First of all, Rebecca is SO CUTE. She's growing like a little weed (hehe)!
And of course I totally relate to survival. This post is both encouraging and discouraging for me. On the one hand, a month from now I'll be getting through the days on my own, and you've made some good progress in that time. But on the other hand, even a month from now things will still be tough. I just think babies make things challenging and survival is all you can expect. You're doing a great job and I know it will come together for you in the coming months. I remember being desperate for a schedule when it was just Katy, but it didn't really happen until 4 months or so. For those of us schedulers it's really hard to wait!
Hang in there, like you said, it will get better.
I think Rebecca and Rachel look quite different at one month, though both are very cute! Rebecca looks a little chubbier in the cheeks - does she weigh more than Rachel at a month?
Even though it doesn't feel like it, surviving each day really is thriving because it's the best you can do at this stage! And you are doing so well! Be patient with yourself - it will get easier and you will enjoy it more. Rebecca may not settle into a schedule for a little while yet, but it will come. That's fantastic that she's settling herself down for sleep now without being in your arms - it's hard to do it any other way with your second child. Do you have a friend/neighbor/babysitter who could come and be on Rebecca patrol for an hour or two once or twice a week so you can have some uninterrupted Rachel time? That can make a huge difference, both to you and Rachel.
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