nursery nerves

So we went to church on Saturday night instead of Sunday morning this week (actually, for the last couple of weeks), and guess who went to the nursery for the first time? Yes....she did. Well, it was sort of the first time. I'm going to a Bible study on Thursday mornings, and she's gone in the nursery then, but there are only two little ones in the infant nursery, and two older ladies to watch them, so I don't have to worry too much about it, and I'm right around the corner. Besides, the ladies names are Tillie and Flo--who wouldn't trust their little one with two grey haired ladies named Tillie and Flo?! They're very sweet with her. Anyway, so this wasn't her first time in there, but it was the first time during a regular church service, when it's crowded with babies. I'm sure the nursery workers love babies and are very competent, but this is OUR little girl we're entrusting into their care! They don't know and love her like we do! We were both nervous. We tried putting her in the room off of the main rooms, where they have cribs for the babies to sleep, because she had fallen asleep in the car, and it was technically her sleep time, but a friend later dropped her little boy off and told me that she saw someone holding her, so she obviously hadn't lasted in the crib. Well, we left her there, and both felt so odd....like something wasn't right. It was awful! I felt like I was abandoning my daughter! As we walked through the halls, we ran into someone who looked at us holding hands (when was the last time we were able to walk down the hall holding hands?? We're now always carrying our daughter and everything but the kitchen sink in her diaper bag) and said, "Is this the first time you're leaving her in the nursery?" He said we just had that look about us..... Hmm, I wonder just what that look looked like. Panic? Relief? Probably a little of both. And then I walked into church and saw several friends with their babies. That made me feel worse. I talked to them and found out that they hadn't left theirs in the nursery yet, and they're all older than our little girl--"What kind of horrible mother am I?" I started thinking. I know that's not true...I'm doing what's best for both of us, but it still felt so wrong. It was hard to concentrate during the service--I kept looking at the screen to see if our number popped up, meaning, "She's screaming out of control and we need you to come rescue us from your child!" It never appeared, though. I guess that's good, but secretly I was thinking that I would've loved an excuse to go get her!! As it was, I left right after the sermon was done to go get her. She can be in the service during the music--she loves it and is very content. It's just the sitting down and being quiet part that she can't handle. So she enjoyed the last couple of songs with Mommy and Daddy, and then we all enjoyed talking with friends afterward. Apparently she was pretty fussy in the nursery. No one can figure out what to do with her. She screams when she eats (unless you lay her on the floor, which they didn't know), she screams when she goes to sleep (but only for 10 minutes, and then she puts herself to sleep, but they tried rocking her to sleep, which she won't tolerate). She's a complicated one.....but she's MY sweet, complicated one, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

By the way, I've tried adding a picture about three times and can't get it to work...sorry...maybe next time.