I've been dreading yesterday ever since our last few rough doctor's visits....Rachel's first trip to the dentist.
I've been asking my dentist for years when I should take Rachel, and he's always said to wait until she's five, before she goes to kindergarten. I kept hearing about other moms taking their kids when their kids were much younger, but I thought the dentist should know, so I stuck with his advice. Well, I should've gone several years ago, because years ago she would've loved it, just like she used to love the doctor.
Yesterday, she didn't love it.
And neither did I.
I thought I had prepared her well. We read books about going to the dentist. We watched youtube videos for kids about your first trip to the dentist. We talked about it. We practiced. I purposely took her to a children's dentist so they'd be as prepared as possible for dealing with frightened children, but she was psyched about going (after the initial tears when I first told her about it two days ago). She jumped out of the car when we got there, so excited to go! In the waiting room, she was great. It all started going down hill in the x-ray chair when she wouldn't open her mouth wide enough for the hygenist to get the xray film into her mouth.
I won't go into specifics, because there are too many. Suffice it to say that she tried REALLY hard to be good (at one point as we were waiting she said, "My tummy isn't feeling too well," her bottom lip started quivering, and she said, "I'm NOT going to cry!" all while tears started filling her eyes.), but it just didn't turn out the way she wanted it to. She was so nervous--so nervous, in fact, that she didn't talk at all to the people at the office. That's saying a lot for my chatty Rachel who will talk to anyone who will listen--especially new people. But it wasn't pretty. It involved me holding her arms down so she wouldn't grab the tools in her mouth, her crying and trying to sit up and get off the chair.... not good. I asked the dentist when I should bring Rebecca in, in order to avoid this with her. She said pediatric dentists start seeing patients at a year old, so she said to go ahead and make an appointment for her the next time Rachel comes in. Hopefully we can avoid a fear like Rachel's in the future with Rebecca.
The dentist actually said she thought Rachel did well for her first time and for being very scared. So I guess other kids must be worse than that???? It gives me a very small comfort to know that at least she's not the only one. I just don't understand where this intense fear of doctors and being touched has come from. It was both frustrating and heart breaking to watch.
Hopefully in January it will be better....but I'm not too hopeful.
Oh, the good news is that she doesn't have any cavities. At least there's that....
Oh, yuck! So sorry that sounds so awful! It's interesting that she loved docters when she was younger and is scared now, whereas Katy was terrified when she was younger and is fine now. They all go through things at different times, I guess. But I can relate to the stress: while Katy was going through her fear, I absolutely dreaded going to all appointments. So stressful....
ReplyDeleteAnd I was shocked when I took Katy for the first time and they said I should bring David, too. Really?!? So David started at 2 and a half. I never would've taken him that young if they hadn't told me to.
Oh, I'm so sorry! But don't blame yourself that you didn't take her earlier - that isn't a guarantee that she would have done well then, or that she still wouldn't have gotten upset at this age. As a parent of kids who screamed at the pediatrician from 6 months to age 5, I totally feel your pain. I tried a pediatric dentist at 3 with Nicholas and it was horrible. We waited until 5 and tried another pediatric dentist, and it was only slightly less awful. But then we tried my family dentist, who has young kids, and it went great. So, don't blame yourself and don't be afraid to problem solve and try different things to help make it better. I'm surprised they tried to do x-rays on a first visit - that is hard for little kids. Andrew had a hard time with them on his third or fourth visit, so they backed off, just did a cleaning, and we tried again a year later, and it was way better. Our dentist tries to make their first visit a good experience, even if all they do is sit in the chair and count their teeth! I'd see if they would be willing to back off and take things more slowly. Or try your dentist if they take kids and you think they'd be good. Or ask friends for a different pediatric dentist recommendation. Our dentist encouraged me to bring my kids along at one of my check-ups so they could watch me get my teeth cleaned, and then afterward, they got to sit in the chair and have a tour of the instruments. I also brought Andrew along to Nicholas' appointments so he could see his big brother do it before it was his turn. That worked really well for us. In fact, Andrew and I just got back from a good dentist visit half an hour ago. You will get there, I promise!
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